Tribbles! Tribbles! Tribbles!


Good morning! This is Chief Science Officer Jennifer Sontag reporting from the science lab aboard the USS Tiburon, currentlyen route to a new planet that was recently discovered by our long-range scanners.  We have a bit of a wait until we get there,so the captain has asked me to put together a report for the USS Tiburon detailing my special ongoing projects in the science lab.  As you all know by now, my lab is currently working on making the Tribbles that currently reside in the lab easier to work with,and so they won’t multiply by the thousands and cause chaos.

First, I would like to like to thank some of my research assistants for their hard work in compiling this report for the Captain. I don’t know what I would do without them, especially my head researcher Gene Roddenberry; without him, I would have never gotten this far with my project.

Ok, now for the fun stuff. As we all know, many years ago Captain James T. Kirk was asked to go Space Station K7 to help with the delivery of quadrotriticale grain to a planet called Sherman’s Planet.  Upon arriving to the station, the ship’s crew was granted shore leave. Lt. Uhura and Lt. Chekov went into the space station to do some shopping, and that’s where the trouble started.  They encountered Cyrano Jones and his newly acquired acquisitions, Tribbles. Of course, Uhura was taken in by the gentle cooing that the Tribbles make, and that’s when the fun started. The Tribbles infiltrated all areas of the Enterprise, and with the help of Lt. Commander Scott, they beamed the wholeTribble tribe onto the Klingon ship before they beamed out.

All right, enough of the history. Now for the fun facts.

Tribbles are fairly small, ranging from the very small (about 3 cm) all the way up to 35 cm.  They come in a variety of different colors, ranging from the ordinary browns and blacks to calico,and if you are very lucky, you might find a rare one with the coloring of cotton candy.  The Tribbles have a very high metabolism rate, and they are constantly hungry and in search of food; just ask the curator of the grain on K7.  They are also born pregnant, which is why they are banned on most planets.  Luckily (not so much for the Tribbles), the Klingons (whom the Tribbles hate) have come up with glommer which is a Tribble devourer. So the Captain has put a couple of those around my lab, just in case.


Now, if you still considering adopting a Tribble, there are some simple rules that you need to follow:

  1. Make sure they are in a fully enclosed area, because they are escape artists, and make sure they have adquete food and water.
  2. They are always hungry, so make sure they always have food. They are mostly vegetarians and should be fed veggies, with low energy grain thrown in for variety.  You can also find some good quality Tribble grain mixtures in pet stores.
  3. Your Tribble craves attention, so give it all you can. They love to be petted and held and make a soothing cooing sound that tells you the Tribble is happy. And if you happen to be around any Klingons, your Tribble will make a high-pitched squeak.
  4. If you are traveling to other worlds, be sure you have you have the proper paperwork, or your Tribble might be confiscated. The only safe Tribbles that can be transported are the non-breeding variety.
  5. And, last but not least, for all you Klingons out there who might want to own a Tribble, unforunately you may not own one because it’s illegal to do so.  The Federation has said if a Klingon owns aTribble, it’s too stressful for the Tribble.

Whew! That was a lot of information for a small post, but I hope it was entertaining and you learned a little more about the Tribbles. And if you are looking for one of your own, please tryto find an adoption agency. They have many great Tribbles up for adoption, and they get many more each day.  I know that the USS Tiburon will be holding an event in June at a convention called Denver Comic Con; please stop by and adopt.

Well, TA TA for now; catch you next time.

Fleet Captain Jennifer Sontag


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