Good evening! This is Chief Science Officer Jennifer Sontag, reporting from the science lab on board the USS Tiburon, currently in orbit above earth.
Sorry I haven’t been reporting as regularly as I should; the Tribbles are just getting over their bout of the Tribble flu. The poor little Tribbles – all of them came down with the same flu, all at once. I had to get with the new chief medical officer, Fleet Captain Doug Davenport, to see if we could find a cure. They were very lethargic, and some of them even lost their fur. And that’s not a sight
you want to see, 20+ naked Tribbles running around the science lab. They looked like little bald Easter eggs. Luckily, we researched the disease and got them under control. And now I have awhole lot of Tribbles scurrying around the science lab.
And just a reminder that Halloween is coming up soon; you may want to keep your little black Tribbles inside, as they are prone to disappearing in the dark since they only are inches above the ground. And you wouldn’t want anyone to run away with your pets, or they might get gobbled up by a vampire Glommer or squished by the monstrous Frank’en Glommer.
We are welcoming all the new science officers who have signed up for the Tiburon in the past few months, and I would like to announce that we have an astrophysicist who has transferred from Starfleet Academy. You may not see much of her, but she will be spreading our good name all over the universe and maybe in the mirror universe. We will be continuing our experiments with the Tribbles. We were thinking of making new coat colors and maybe even breeding them with earth turtles to make phaser-proof Tribbles with a protective shell. Just keep a watch on the science department to see what we come up with next. I hope that this experiment goes well, and if it does, maybe we can even make Klingon-safe Tribbles.
I have on good authority that the science department is the largest department on the USS Tiburon right now. That means only that we better come up with some new and better Tribbles, maybe even make one as big as a Horta to guard the doors so the pesky Glomers aren’t needed.
Well that’s all for now. If I have any news about the new Tribbles, I will inform everyone.
Thanks for reading, and see you next time,
Fleet Captain Jennifer Sontag
Chief Science Officer, USS Tiburon